There is a complaint made to romance writers (fortunately, becoming less frequently) that the heroes and heroines depicted on the covers are impossibly good looking.
The answer to this quite simple. We see the hero and heroine through each other’s eyes and, as they get to know one another and they fall in love, they find that perfect ‘one’, that person who embodies all the finer qualities. I don’t know about you, but my husband is the most handsome man on the planet, he’s smart, humorous, kind and supportive.
I hope you feel the same way about your spouse too.
Well, what romance writers have known for years, science is just catching up with. One of the secrets of a long and fulfilling relationships is the ‘slow burn’.
In other words:
According to this article in the Scientific American, physical attractiveness plays less of a part when the couple have got to know one another over time – such as a social group, work or some other shared interest.
Beauty and the Beast is a timeless tale: A lovely girl encounters a not-so-attractive, even beast-like man. There is no love at first sight in this story; Beauty, in fact, finds the Beast repulsive. Over time, however, as Beauty gets to know the Beast, she uncovers his warm nature and her heart softens. Ultimately, the story delivers on its fairy tale ending and Beauty falls in love with Beast despite his appearance.
Ahh, if only love could be like that in real life…
Actually, it is. At least in some instances. Although attractive people do tend to select other attractive people in many romantic relationships, new research by Lucy Hunt, Paul Eastwick, and Eli Finkel indicates that there are predictable exceptions. Couples who spark a romantic relationship shortly after meeting are most likely to match in physical attractiveness; however, when people get to know each other well over an extended period of time before dating, it’s not unusual to see greater disparity in their physical appeal…
…The subjective component of romantic desirability, on the other hand, derives from characteristics that are revealed over time and may have a more unique appeal, like sense of humor, creativity, loyalty, and moral character. As individuals get to know each other over time, romantic impressions rely less on the objective and more on the subjective component. Thus, a person who is objectively less appealing (on the basis of physical features) may become subjectively more appealing (on the basis of personal characteristics). In other words, the Beast transforms into Brad Pitt when you get to know him.
In fact, this is the premise of the beautiful 1945 film The Enchanted Cottage. The hero (played by Robert Young is a pilot severely disfigured after his plane is shot down). He recuperates from his injuries aided by a plain jane housekeeper played by Dorothea McGuire.
As they get to know one another and fall in love, thanks to the camera we’re allowed to see what they see – their love manifesting itself on the outside.
Here’s a snippet from the Enchanted Cottage. The whole film is up on YouTube but I can’t vouch for it being out of copyright.
